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Backbiting is an insidious problem. Imagine if a colleague spoke ill of someone that you were about to meet for the first time, at the start of a new project for example. "Oh, Joe! Let me tell about Joe ... he's such a Wood Duck ... he did blah blah blah in his last team ...". How does that affect your initial impressions and interactions with Joe? 

Socrates, a mere two and a half thousand years ago, devised a wonderful way of arresting backbiting: the triple filter test (or triple sieve test).

The story goes like this:

One day a friend came running up to Socrates -- "Socrates, Socrates, do you know what I have just heard about one of your students?"

Socrates, in his wise and most dignified manner, replied, "my friend, you seem very excited. Take a seat, relax for a moment and catch your breath. Good. Now before you share this news with me, tell me, does it pass the triple filter test?"

"The triple filter test, pray what is that?", his friend bemusedly asked.

"Well my friend, allow me to demonstrate it to you. The first filter is TRUTH. Is what you are about to tell me about my student truthful?"

Ratcheting his excitement down a few notches, the friend replied, "well, I've just heard the story myself, so I have not yet had the opportunity to verify it."

"Okay", Socrates said, "let's apply the second filter: GOODNESS. Is what you are about to share something good about this student?"

"On the contrary!" the friend blurted, "this student of yours..."

But Socrates cut him off with a hand signal and said rather gruffly, "so, you want to tell me something bad about my student that you don't even know is true?"

His friend fell silent and hung his head feeling somewhat ashamed and embarrassed.

However Socrates, in a face-saving tone, said, "nevertheless, we have one filter left. Your story may still pass the test." After a pause to allow his friend to become receptive again, Socrates continued, "The last filter is USEFULNESS. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"No Socrates", his friend solemnly replied, "the information will not be useful to you".

"So," Socrates concluded, "five minutes ago you were very eager to tell me a story about another person that is neither true, nor good, nor useful. Why is it that you were so keen to share such information?

We backbite to appear comparatively higher by cutting others down. And we enjoy a moment of attention as others salivate over another person's destruction. It is cheap glory which destroys camaraderie and collaboration: the essence of high-performing teams.

Would you like to eradicate backbiting in your team or organisation? Share this story with them and ask them to pledge to always use the triple filter test before saying something about a colleague.

Most importantly, do so yourself.

 

Guest post by John Dobbin
https://www.linkedin.com/in/johndobbin/